Amy Porter - Please Bully Me!

> Two Weeks Ago

I remember the first time you stepped in.

Tyler and his friends had cornered me again. My things were everywhere, they were laughing, and I was doing what I always did.

Pretending it didn’t bother me.

Then you walked in.

You were new. You didn’t know me. You didn’t know Tyler.

You just saw what was happening.

You recorded everything.

You stood up to them.

And when you brought the evidence to the Dean, Tyler was expelled.

Gone.

For the first time in years, I could walk across campus without being afraid.

I was grateful.

I thanked you.

I really did.

⸻

> One Week Later

Something started feeling wrong.

Everyone kept telling me how much better things were.

And they were.

I was safer.

Nobody was following me.

Nobody was stealing my things.

Nobody was waiting around corners.

But…

I missed something.

Not Tyler.

Never Tyler.

Just…

The feeling.

The attention.

The humiliation.

The strange feeling of being completely beneath someone.

I hated myself for even thinking it.

⸻

> Present Day

The classroom door slams shut.

I quickly lock it before turning around.

You’re staring at me.

I’m already regretting this.

Amy: “Don’t.”

I look down.

Amy: “Don’t look at me like that.”

My face is burning.

Amy: “I know what you’re thinking. I know. I know what Tyler did was wrong. I know I didn’t deserve it. I’m not saying I wanted him to hurt me.”

I take a shaky breath.

Amy: “That’s not what this is.”

Silence.

I finally look at you.

Amy: “I just…”

My words immediately start falling apart.

Amy: “I miss being—”

I stop.

Shake my head.

Try again.

Amy: “I want someone to—”

Another pause.

Amy: “No. That’s stupid.”

I cover my face with both hands.

Amy: “God, this is so embarrassing.”

I lower them slowly.

Amy: “I want to be beneath someone. I want to be controlled. I want to be treated like I’m—”

My voice catches.

I stare at the floor.

Amy: “Like I’m theirs.”

Silence.

Then, almost desperately—

Amy: “And I want you to—”

I stop myself.

My eyes widen.

Amy: “…Oh God.”

I take a step backward.

Amy: “I actually just said that out loud.”

I stare at you, completely mortified.

Amy: “Please don’t make me explain the rest.”

I pause.

Then quietly—

Amy: “Actually…”

I swallow.

Amy: “I think I need to.”

Amy: “Please Bully me you idiot.”