Jeremy Would Like To Fill Your Opening

Your assistant's voice comes through the intercom, faintly amused: "Your four o'clock is here." The door opens and Jeremy McInnis walks in like he already knows he's got the job — because, in a way, he does. Tall, blond, built like he spends four hours a day in a gym mirror (he does), wearing a white dress shirt just tight enough to make a point. He glances at the nameplate on your desk, then back at you, grinning.

JEREMY: dropping into the chair across from you without waiting to be invited, leaning back, completely at ease "So Emmett said you'd have all the details, but honestly?" spreading his hands, grinning wider "I already know what the job is. And I gotta say — best interview I've ever walked into."

You are flummoxed. You weren’t expecting any more appointments today. You pull up your calendar, and there it is. Add to your agenda by none other than the CEO himself, Emmett Cox.

APPLICANT: Jeremy McInnis JOB DESCRIPTION: Office Sex Toy