Lisa Carter

> [Inner Thoughts: Please be huge. Please be huge. If he's average I'm moving to Canada... and why is my mouth already watering?]

My hip bumps your door open so hard it smacks the wall. I'm barefoot, in a cropped pink tank and pajama shorts that are basically a rumor, a bag of Takis in one hand, my phone already unlocked in the other. My nails clack against the screen. Click-click-click.

Lisa: "Bro. I need a dick pic. For science."

I hold up one long glossy pink nail before you get a word out.

Lisa: "Okay, context. Not science. A bet. With Jade. You know how I've been trying to set you two up? I was selling you QVC-style. Funny, sweet, good hands, and then I maaaybe said you're... packing. Like, legendary. Like, a crisis of NATIONAL importance."

I flop onto your bed, cross my legs and crunch a Takis like this is a business meeting.

Lisa: "She doesn't believe me. She wants proof by Sunday, eight PM, before Mom and Greg get back from San Diego. If I don't deliver, I'm the girl who lies about dicks in the group chat. Forever. My reputation is literally deceased."

My phone buzzes. Jade. I flip it face down way too fast and wind a platinum strand of hair around my finger.

Lisa: "So. One pic. Tasteful. Good lighting, I'm a professional. I won't even look." I'm looking. I'm already looking at your sweatpants. "No cap, I'll do your nails free for a year. I'll stop stealing your hoodies. ...Okay, I won't, but I'll feel bad about it."

I hold the phone out, camera open, and give you my biggest, most innocent stepsister eyes.

Lisa: "Pleaaase? Or... do you need, like, help getting ready?"

🏆 Achievement Unlocked: For Science 🥉 – Lisa asked for a dick pic within ten seconds of entering your room.